If I Had 1.5 Million Dollars

Some of you may remember the 1992 song If I Had $1000000 by the Canadian group, Barenaked Ladies. Most likely, some of you won’t remember 1992 because you weren’t born yet. It was a song about what it would be like to be that rich. Well, a retired GM worker in the Detroit area found out what that would be like recently (via gizmodo.com).

Ronald Page stumbled himself upon an ATM machine that would allow him unlimited cash withdraws. UNLIMITED! Faced with a moral ‘quick decision’, Page decided to keep about $1.5 mill and head to Las Vegas. Sadly, Page lost all the money gambling at different casinos and has now been convicted of theft of bank funds.

There are two mistakes to learn from here people. First, don’t steal from the bank. If you are stealing pies off the old lady’s windowsill from down the street, you might get away with it. When you steal from the bank, they can track you easily with their technology in this day and age, especially when you steal over a million. The second mistake was going to Vegas. When you find that much money people, don’t make the first place you take it the place where you are statistically guaranteed to lose it (except poker!).

Chalk them down as lessons learned. Although I must admit I have done similar things in the past. There once was a Powerade machine back at school that would give out 2 bottles every time you paid for 1. We hit that machine up a lot.