Friday Afternoon Funnies: The Next Rebecca Black? Meet 12 Year Old Lauren Taveras (formerly Miss L)

A lengthy one, but hopefully one you will find funny, in this week’s instalment of Friday Afternoon Funnies. PeteHatesMusic gets tons of emails every day from various bands, press reps, and the odd fan mail (since 1 is an odd number). Most of the music PR people know what they are doing – they seemingly only contact sites that have hosted bands from their label, or similar styles of music. Google Alerts or even a simple Google search can lead them to your site – we’re not so foolish to think they are regular readers of our site (although that would be nice, hintity hint hint).

I was a little surprised when I got the email below, because 1) It’s featuring a 12-year old girl (likely not rock or indie music) and 2) The “artist” (read: her press rep) claims to be a fan of the site, and even tries to make it seem like it is NOT a mass email, yet it’s sent to “Undisclosed recipients”. I also received a second copy of the email, in which I was BCC’ed.

Full email:

“I’m a young fan of your site and wanted to share with you an EXCLUSIVE MUSIC VIDEO that I just completed. I’m a 12-year-old emerging musical artist (about.me/laurentaveras), and my last music video, “Crazy,” currently has nearly 1.5 million views: youtube.com/watch?v=DM6H5Sc7vxg

“I’m currently looking for a great site like yours to feature my upcoming video, “THROUGH MY EYES” as well as get exclusive photos and interviews. Have a look at the preview link below and let me know if you’d like to feature it on Thursday, April 12th as a “World Premiere.”

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There’s nothing more that I’d like than exclusive pics of a 12 year old girl! (Please, please, please note that this is sarcastic, as I don’t want to get arrested – I’m too pretty for jail). A password for the Through My Eyes video followed, and since that required “effort” to view, I figured I’d check out the video with 1.5 million visitors instead.

Now, full credit to the girl – she’s 12, and she has 1.5 million YouTube. When I was 12, I was wondering why the other 12 year old girls kept giving me bloody noses. However, like how Jon Benet Ramsey was a touch too young to be “sexified”, there’s nothing I want to see less than a 12 year old trying to be sexy, and wearing more make up than Mimi from the Drew Carey Show.

The song is called CRAZY (ALL CAPS!). The artist known as Lauren Taveras used to go by the name Miss L, sort of like how Lana Del Rey used to be Lizzy Grant! This is where the similarities end.

The video starts when a goofy looking boy shows up and the girls, who naturally have security cameras for the house, spot him, call him cute, and begin their “next assignment”. However, if the assignment was to make a poor music video, then they succeeded. Actually, the boy doesn’t really feature again until the end, when a dreadfully acted outro plays out after the song.

The song begins with Miss L saying “Miss L”, and then spelling it (I know, it’s tough), and then the average and predictable synth-heavy dance song begins. Pretty sure the monkeys with typewriters banged out these lyrics decades ago.

If you want to invest 6 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back, check out Lauren Taveras’ video for CRAZY below. Thanks for being such a fan of the website, Lauren!!

Lauren Taveras – CRAZY