Fighting for my Right to Party

Good morning faithful reader(s). As Glastonbury weekend descends upon the UK, I realized how I needed to go to a place where there is lots of mud, poor toilet facilities, and a Lord of the Flies style leadership is implemented (power by conch!). As such, I am taking off to a cottage never to be seen again and will return on Monday, with full Glastonbury news. Other weekend predictions include:

• Lady Gaga doing something boring outrageous
• Madonna announcing she is dating someone new, who is in his 20s
• Liam Gallagher will slag someone off in the media
• Jack White will form a new band – with Damon Albarn – how has this not happened yet??
• Radiohead will release a new double album, which will consist of two 40-minute tracks. Okay, maybe this is just wishful thinking.