Morning Music Notes – Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne Shock the World, Not By Making Good Music

“Chavril” is Canada’s New Super Couple, Where Super is Followed By A Negative Adjective

First of all, I thought Nickelback singer Chad Kroeger was asexual. I’ve never known him to date, well, anyone, nor have I ever heard a woman say she is attracted to him. Hell, he probably doesn’t even have groupies. He’s just Chad!

And young, petite Avril Lavigne, was once wed to fellow Canadian “punk” rocker, Deryck Whibley from Sum 41, and was last known to be dating Kim Kardashian’s stepbrother, Brody Jenner. I didn’t even know she KNEW Chad, yet alone was dating him, and BAM – engaged. Yup, Avril Lavigne said yes to Chad Kroeger’s proposal, and they are now engaged (via People). Even the People article doesn’t have them pictured together – it’s like the Polkaroo and that guy that never gets to see the Polkaroo (reference lost on all non-Canadians).

As it turns out, Chad Kroeger was helping Avril Lavigne record a song on her new album. Clearly seduced by his “talent”, they began a relationship, and are now engaged, 6 months later. What will their first song be at their wedding? Surely it won’t be a Nickelback or Avril song, but will the band that gets that “honour” sue? “Um excuse, you collectively wrote Sk8er Boi and How You Remind Me, and you have tarnished my song and my reputation.”

A few pieces of advice, from a snarky music blogger: Please, please do not have kids. And if you do, please, please expose them to music outside of your own. And please, please do not teach them music – either one of you.

I can’t wait to hear Sum 41’s next album (the first time anyone has said that in a decade), or have them share a bill with Nickelback. This just made the Junos more controversial than the Grammys! Well, assuming Sum 41 can get to the Junos.

Of course, the Internet exploded with the news. Check out some of the wittiest Twitter replies below.

Jaguar Vehicles to Have the Poutiest Lips

Lana Del Rey, the new face of H&M, has another new modelling / advertising contract – Jaguar (via NME). Not bad for someone with just one album under their belt. She has reportedly signed a six-figure contract, which will see her help launch their new F-Type vehicle. Fans of Lana Del Rey can enter to see her play for free at London’s month-long iTunes Festival, too. Also on the September bill is Noel Gallagher, Jack White, Mumford & Sons, Elbow, Deadmau5, and Usher, amongst others.

Wi-Fi to Be Attached to Donkey’s Backs in Israeli Theme Park

First we had dog poo Wi-Fi and now we have ass wi-fi – a theme park in Israel is attaching routers to the back of five donkeys in the Kfar Kedem (Village of Yore) theme park in Israel (via Dvice). So if you want to make sure you have good reception, be sure to follow around a donkey, or even ride it. Maybe they should attach it to turtles, so that customers don’t go from full reception to no Wi-Fi. Wouldn’t it just be easier to get homeless people to sell you Wi-Fi?